HarDCore Intern

O-Issue, day 16: Theist delusions

2009-09-16T23:12:00.003-04:00

Dear God,

Please let this not be the third straight night of sleeping in the office. People have had sex on that couch. Also, I have things for tacos at home.

Thanks.

Signed,
CHIeditorEF

Sunday OMV: Couldn't wait for Friday edition

2009-09-13T01:03:00.007-04:00

Production's actually been a good time. Is that weird?

We've gone through at least three '80s playlists—the proper, big-haired '80s, not my punk rock crap—watched Turkish Star Wars, and marveled over possibly the worst book advance we've ever received. Oh, and there were those shittonnes of work we did too. Fun stuff. Yeah, I know I'm lame.

Out of all of us, Jake's probably had the most exciting summer. Sure, I saw girls wearing lettuce, but I didn't stage any guerrilla rap performances at four different colleges.

If you ask me, the best part (aside from the masterful rhymes of course) is Jake's warm-up dance. Or end-of-a-long-road-trip dance. It's unclear.

Friday OMV: Crooner mic action edition

2009-09-11T22:04:00.003-04:00

Not even the O-Issue can stop the Friday OMV. My love for low art conquers all.

P.S. Kind of a non sequitur, but the juggling part made me think of Willy, who, by the way, is still awesome.

Time isn't on my side

2009-09-07T11:59:00.004-04:00

Flying to Chicago in a bit. John sent me the link to the new Polvo album. Click the "listen" button under the upper left thumbnail, I think they have all the songs up. Probably won't get to it for another week, so, if you actually do listen to it, let me know how it is.

UPDATE: Holy hell, this is the stuff. Polvo is basically what all little guitars want to be when they grow up. Party on, dudes.

Friday OMV: Live from New York edition

2009-09-04T17:47:00.006-04:00

Mkay, I know how y'all love to hear me bitch about work, but I'm going to take a break from that real quick to talk about awesome music. Today I give you the men of Chavez, who are one of about 6 bands in history to write a perfect rock song. Unfortunately, they've been pretty much inactive for about a decade. Like pretty much all my favorite bands. Sigh. What can you do.

Pre-1999 though, these guys used to make funny videos--think the Pavement aesthetic with a ~~higher~~ budget. As in weeks past, I can't choose, so it's a two-for-one deal.

First is "Unreal is Here," a good slow cooker tune. No time for deep linking today, so I leave it to you to find the $83,000 check to Chavez Kids, Donal Logue's cameo as a sound guy, and the guitarist doing a layup...with his guitar.

And then there's the video for "Break Up Your Band." The song's great; the video's a great acid test for whether or not you have a certain sense of humor.

Hope that didn't grossly offend anyone. Actually that'd be kinda funny.

All right then. Back to work.

Again

2009-09-04T17:32:00.005-04:00

"Documents and Presentations will not be editable on Saturday, Sept. 5, 2009, from 12:00 - 1:30 pm PDT; all documents and presentations should still be accessible."

Okay seriously Google, what is your beef with the Maroon? *@$#%. Time to switch to Bing.

Friday OMV

2009-09-04T04:57:00.007-04:00

I'm proud to announce that I've finished editing almost every article in the O-Issue.

That has to do with food.

On a brighter note, my uncle sent me a fucking fantastic birthday present.

Rad.

~

UPDATE: Y'all, I am not feeling this 2003 edit to Thriller. "There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time"? Isn't the song about hellbeasts? Not extraterrestrials? Maybe they were hinting at one of Wacko's projects that never saw daylight—in this case, an Alien vs. Jaws feature film. Naturally, he would've played the former.

P.S. Annie, are you okay? :o)

NEWSFLASH: Other website has news

2009-09-03T00:48:00.004-04:00

Just thought I'd mention that the sports blog has returned triumphantly. Though in my mind, it never really left.

A face only a mother could love.

2009-09-03T00:38:00.005-04:00

I ran out of shorts today, so I borrowed one of my mom's skirts.

She said, "You look nice! Like a girl!"

Aaaand that's the only thing that happened to me today that had nothing to do with the Maroon.

Communication breakdown

2009-09-01T17:09:00.008-04:00

Really, GMail? It's not like you don't know the O-Issue deadline's today. Sigh. So much for corporate behemoth-run technology being my pal.

Anyway, John texted to say it should back around 5 CST. Fingers crossed.

UPDATE: It's running again. Back to work. Yay?

Teachable moment

2009-09-01T01:11:00.006-04:00

Moral: Headlining and AC/DC don't mix.

Engrish has all the fun

2009-08-31T20:31:00.005-04:00

In honor of the O-Issue eating my life and the lives of those dear to me, I give you "Wah! Lovely Sweets & Snacks," also currently under consumption in my house.

"Wah!" is kind of like wow but more avuncular, and best for describing the actions of cute and/or precocious children. Like this.

NEWSFLASH: Area girl hears great rock song

2009-08-29T02:48:00.013-04:00

Am I right?

In other news, musically speaking I'm on the cutting edge of 1992.

Friday OMV: "Davandra Barnhart concert in a dumpster" edition

2009-08-28T19:41:00.022-04:00

I saw this in high school, maybe y'all remember it too -- it's the "Other Music" sketch parodying NYC record clerks? Just remembered it today. Quality stuff. Oh, and call me a hipster and I'll cut you.

On the hundredth view, I guarantee you I'd still crack up when that guy says "indietastic."

All right, since that wasn't a bona fide music video, here's a second helping of comedy gold. I think it might be the most ridiculous one ever. Seriously. I was going to make a list of all the quirks -- the Bollywood-quality green screen usage, the singalong "hooga chakkas," the dachshund cameos -- but really there isn't a second in this video, from beginning to end, that isn't completely absurd. Anyway, my lunch money says you can't find one that tops it. Show 'em, Dave.

Fun fact: The furry movement was born around the 3:05-mark.

Can we just rate it NC-22? That would solve all my problems.

2009-08-25T21:00:00.008-04:00

GQ would have you believe that we're only the 17th douchiest college on the market. Doubtful, my good sirs.

Sigh. Why are all these ranking systems so flawed?

Where fun is the conception of an administrator who really enjoyed the sixth grade.

2009-08-24T17:22:00.016-04:00

"Dear RSO leader,

"[We] would like to invite you to sign up to participate in the Reynolds Club Halloween Haunted House. This event will take place on Friday, October 30, from 3:30 pm until 9:00 pm with a half an hour break during which refreshments will be provided for participants. RSOs are eligible to create a scary room or scene in the house.

"In order to participate, you will need to express your interest by replying directly to this email no later than September 9^th. I will send you a confirmation and give you further instructions.

"We sincerely hope that you will help us to make this an awesome event for the University community."

I'm thinking we just line the walls with the balance sheets of newspapers gone by. That's scary enough for a school full of econ majors right? Oh, and have one of those bowls full of ~~peeled grapes~~ eyeballs. Those give me the jibblies.

Nostalgia post

2009-08-22T14:00:00.010-04:00

There's some kind of basic human drive to order and categorize things, right? So I wonder if, High Fidelity-style, that drive is more pronounced in audiophiles. From all the time spent processing songs, shows, music history, and other people's best-of lists in an attempt to create your own, ultimate hierarchy.

But that's just my junk theory. I like lists because they lend themselves to more concise writing. Though, uh, clearly the following isn't proof of that.

This is my D.C. top five, plus some. Top five what, says you? I dunno...maybe things I'd take with me if I could.

5. Kramerbooks @ Dupont Circle

Rarely do you find an establishment that's a) cool, b) free, c) open late, for d) non-drinkers to e) hang out in on f) weeknights. Okay, the books aren't free, but quality browsing always feels like getting something for nothing.

This here shelf is the music section, which I picked over pretty good in the last two months. The other music section is Afterwords Cafe in the back, which always has some kind of ruckus going on. Which I like -- keeps it from feeling all tomblike, like some other bookstores.

4. Julia's Empanadas
@ Adams Morgan

One empanada = one delicious, filling meal for $3.41. Cheap Asian win!

3. Caliyogurt @ Adams Morgan

We went here a lot, not just because it was nearby and delicious, but because you get every 10th yogurt free. What can I say. We go wherever they value loyalty the most.

2. Smash Records @ Adams Morgan

This is where I picked up the flier for my first Andalusians show, got Jason to buy Signals, Calls, and Marches, and hunkered down to flip through that bargain bin at least once a week.

The second to last time I went in there, I talked to the clerk. You'd think that someone with moderately obscure taste in music would jump at the chance to talk to record store clerks, the people most likely to be like-minded. The nerdy Asian girl thing gets in the way though. Gives you this chronic not-cool-enough complex.

Anyway. I had this list of bands I keep forgetting to check out, and I asked the clerk if she knew any of them. Dwarves were on that list...I think she described them as "like a punk band, but a lot more offensive." She put on one of their records, and then one by Nation of Ulysses. Dwarves were too slick for me, but the NoU record was great. She showed me this little pink-leather bound manifesto under the counter called Psychic Soviet, which is by Ulysses singer Ian Svenonius -- easily the most ridiculous figure in D.C. punk. I'd seen the book under the counter a bunch of times before, but of course I'd never asked anyone to take it out from under the glass.

We shot the breeze until she had to close up. I was out the door and halfway down the stairs, when she came out and asked my name. I'm Tara, she said, and shook my hand.

There were a lot of "goddamn I don't want to leave" moments last week. For some reason that one was the biggest.

1. Fort Reno @ Tenleytown

D.C., this better still be here when I get back.

Area girl phased by unicellular record store

2009-08-21T22:35:00.012-04:00

Cons
-His name is Jay Reatard.
-Not a fan of his tunes.
-So much goddamn work to do.
-His name is Jay Reatard.

Pros
-It's a free show at Amoeba.

...

If I were ruled by logic, this wouldn't even be a decision.

Friday OMV: Bollywood double feature

2009-08-21T17:12:00.019-04:00

So speaking of Bollywood music videos...

It's weird, how much this stuff used to embarrass me. Around high school, all the sappiness and I dunno, plastic-ness, of these movies really got to me. Bollywood seemed really grotesque, and I felt somehow guilty by association.

At some point I must have chilled the fuck out though, because I don't cringe like that anymore. For the most part, anyway. Bollywood's just Western culture in a funhouse mirror, which can be enjoyably ridiculous, but the music usually sucks because it's such a quantity-over-quality industry. Very, very occasionally though, a decent pop song will surface from the muck.

Here's one of them. Good tune, typically ludicrous video premise: Through the power of dance, our heroine conquers a construction site, a karate studio, Scotland, and the Indian army. For good measure they also threw in a Charlie Chaplin impersonator, a 9-year-old rapper, and an oddly placed Seinfeld bassline. Nice job, India.

I'm not gonna lie: it's always been a dream of mine to dance on top of a moving car.

And now for our second feature, which might be a little more familiar; if this wasn't a meme already, MJ's passing has probably made it one. Still, I feel like it's my ethnic duty to show it to as many people as possible, so...here ya go. This is how we rip off "Thriller."

If you're feeling inspired, there's also a singalong version.

Baycation (all I ever wanted)

2009-08-21T11:27:00.015-04:00

Went up to Berkeley yesterday to collect Beardata. No, actually I went to see Grant. He's in their labz, doing their physicz.

It's a painfully pretty school for someone with Chicago February to look forward to. It's funny, they were watering the bejeezus out of their soccer field. Even though it's astroturf. Even though California's had a drought for 3 years. I didn't see them building an alien death pod of a library though, so call it even.

And I don't know shit about sports, but nothing gives a campus an air of normalcy like having a ginormous stadium on it. Doesn't hurt that the stadium has a killer view neither.

Check it.

If you go with Grant, you also get a good view of Grant. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

We did everything to do in Berkeley, burned it, then hied down to San Francisco. The only part of town I know well is the old hippie neighborhood, Haight-Ashbury, because that's where all the record stores are. We got Indian food, watched Bollywood music videos for about an hour. Guess there hasn't been enough spontaneous dancing in our lives lately.

When we were walking back, a hobo jumped out of a trashcan, a couple sidewalk squares in front of us. The girl walking by at that moment jumped, screamed. Didn't drop any change.

It's a fun town.

Creep alert

2009-08-20T12:27:00.008-04:00

My boss sent us word that Jayson Blair has become a life coach.

No, seriously.

This is part news update, part security bulletin. I assume The Times is still working on a restraining order that would keep Coach Blair outside a 10 mile radius of journalism at all times. But until that goes through, we'll have to rely on AP datelines to track him.

And speaking of the dateline, isn't USA Today in McLean? Ah well. That wouldn't be so much of a loss.

I paid money for Dizzy up the Girl? AHHHHHHHHHH!

2009-08-19T17:43:00.017-04:00

I was poking around the back yard when I noticed a CD hanging in the fig tree.

My mom said it scared the squirrels away for a while, but now they've gotten too smart for that.

Wish I'd been around to help implement that project. Parts of my middle school album collection are a) more expendable and b) waaaaaay scarier than the blank she used.

Strange kind of rest

2009-08-19T00:47:00.027-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately (er, maybe not.) The sudden absence of harDCore and internship from my life has just left me kinda disoriented.

Our house is on the market. If your parentals have ever sold their house, maybe you're familiar with the staging process -- basically, hiring a company to come in and sprinkle around some coffee table books, hang folksy paintings of flowers on the walls, drop a basket of fake styrofoam baguettes on the kitchen counter...just generally make the place look like a Pottery Barn catalogue.

So that's how our house is right now. There's a popcorn tin that's never held popcorn on the living room table. The beds are made in this fruity-looking way, with a shawl kind of draped on top, that was clearly devised by someone who sees beds as ornamental rather than for sleeping.

Every Tuesday and Sunday we have an open house. So this morning was all frantic straightening up in time to clear out before the brokers came in at 10.

9:30 a.m., I'm nearly done with my room. Dad comes in and says I can help you out, make your bed for you. That's okay Dad, I can make my own bed.

Finished with the bed a couple minutes later, Mom comes in to inspect. Something's not quite right. Maybe we should take off the comforter and just put a sheet over the bed, she says. To make it look more summery. I'm not really following her, but sure, whatever.

So we take off the comforter, pack it up and hide it in the closet, change the pillowcase, put on the sheet. But the sheet doesn't reach down far enough to cover the bottom mattress. Hmm, says Mom. Maybe next time we'll nix the sheet and just leave the comforter.

And I thought remembering AP Style for street names was tedious.

This isn't a jab at the 'rents or anything. It's hard as shit selling a house in California right now, they'd be justified in calling in the National Guard on a dust bunny. It's more like...for reasons that have nothing to do with the distance, or the time zone, or Arnold Schwarzenegger...feels like life just kinda changed overnight on me.

Coast swap complete

2009-08-17T17:19:00.001-04:00

Well. I'm back.

What I did(/picked up at record stores) this summer

2009-08-15T23:59:00.009-04:00

Sometimes packrats scurry up and tell me that I could maybe stand to get rid of some stuff.

P.S. Don't ask how the packing's going.

EPIC WIN

2009-08-15T21:09:00.003-04:00

HOLY crap guys, I got somebody to buy a Polvo album!

AND he likes it!!

And I quote, from a text message dated 9:22 this very evening:

"Well u can relax, u have a patent talent for choosing music."

One convert. I can die happy.

P.S. He could also be talking about the Mission of Burma album he purchased at my recommendation. I call it a win either way.

Friday OMV: Frontman of legend edition

2009-08-14T19:07:00.010-04:00

At :47, a bottle comes crashing into David Yow's head. At 3:44 he's not only conscious, but up and singing again.

Mr. Yow's thoughts on the matter:

There’s a video on YouTube taken from a Jesus Lizard show in Dallas in 1994, showing me getting hit on the head with a beer bottle. I didn’t have to go to the hospital that particular night, but there were a handful of times that I was hospitalized. I used to get a kick out of that, thinking, “Jeez, I’m just a singer in a dumb rock band and I get put in the hospital for it?” That always impressed me. It’s better than not getting hospitalized, I guess.

He's just...totally, 100% batshit insane.

<3 <3 <3

P.S. The first thing he says afterward is "Nice shot, dick." Ha!

Last day

2009-08-14T18:07:00.008-04:00

I'll miss it.

A big challenge of this internship has been trying to get work done with these two clowns around. I dunno if you can read Scott's sign -- it just says "Di Benedetto is a cheater." I thought I had a picture of them wrassling, as has become their custom near clockout, but I guess my camera didn't want that in its memory.

This is the balcony where we ate lunch (and smoked copious cigs) most days.

Here's our view from the tenth floor. Down there's McPherson Square, and over the top of the middle building you can see the Washington Monument. I dunno if that's really impressive, it's kind of like saying, "Oh wow, I can see the Sears Tower from here!!" in Chicago.

The big arrow's pointing to the White House though. So that's a bit more awesome.

Sometimes we'd want to keep the lights off in our office, but our boss would always come in and turn it off. I hypothesized that she was acting in accordance with the company motto.

Our boss, Jody, high priestess of the Foundation.
Check out the old-school typewriter.

Finally, the usual suspects. It's been fun y'all.

Adventures I didn't tell you about

2009-08-13T22:03:00.041-04:00

because I didn't think they'd be worth a whole post, I guess. Maybe collectively they are? Or maybe this'll just be kinda lame. You decide.

Went to see the (co-ed) French maid relay race on Bastille Day.

Grabbed an illicit chandelier photo from the Capitol.

Saw the entertainments from afar on July 4. If you're up close you can see Barry Manilow, but not the fireworks. We opted to stay away.

Although we did go to the rehearsal on July 3. Big Bird was also in attendance.

I think the best thing we got out of that excursion was this picture.

Spent a good couple hours bumming around Penn Station, and the JHU hospital-appropriate sculpture they keep out front. Not to sound like a hobo, but I kinda like it there.

It's got these neat ceilings, see?

Got to shoot photos from a manlift once. Had the operator get one of me. Kind of a shaky ride, that's why I'm gritting my teeth a bit.

Sorry...I'm still pretty taken with this thing.

Went to a Space and Aeronautics Subcommittee hearing. On the walls they had all these wacky portraits of past chairmen.

This isn't really an adventure. I think when this picture was taken, Scott and Stephen had just unplugged my mouse for the fifth time. That day.

Finally, in case you've been on the fence about whether or not I'm kind of an idiot, the other day I walked across this bridge on the guard rail.

As I recall, Jason, you still owe me $1.25 for that.

Fiddlesticks

2009-08-12T17:55:00.004-04:00

Learn from my example, dears: Don't wait to talk to your superheroes until the second-to-last week you have in their city. Because with notice that short, there's a good chance they'll be too tied up signing royalty checks and going out of town to do an interview in person.

Ian says call his office in September. So I figure, edit the O-Issue by day, transcribe by night? Or, more likely, edit by day and night, transcribe by 3-6 a.m.?

Whatever. It'll be so fucking worth it.

NEWSFLASH: Punk infiltrates Pentagon

2009-08-11T16:52:00.016-04:00

Sorry. In my little mind, the idea of a "newsflash" is just so inexhaustibly funny.

But yeah, our boss got us a tour of the Pentagon today. They have "no photography" signs up as soon as you get off the Metro, so no illustrations, sadly. My Paint skills aren't really up to replicating the DOD seal.

Obviously they keep all the cool stuff behind impenetrable layers of retinal scans and dragon moats, but even so...I was surprised that the guards outside with MP5s were the most badass element of the place we could see. The atmosphere of the Pentagon is a weird combination of office building and airport mall. There's a gift shop. A bunch of restaurants. A shoeshine stand. A dentist's office.

And, of course, a 9/11 memorial. The tour guide said the plane crashed into the one steel-reinforced side, so it only took out a fifth of the building. Not much of an only I guess, but had it hit any other side, the whole building probably would've collapsed.

Gulp.

Anyway. The ABC producer stationed in the building took the time for some reason to show us around the media offices. Can't remember which station it was for, but we saw one of the radio booths. It was about half as big as HPK's. Probably has 100 times better equipment though.

We went into the official Pentagon PR office too. They have clocks up showing the times in Iraq and Afghanistan, probably other places too. On the press officers' desks they have these huge directories, with each sheet encased in panes of plastic, that have all the numbers of all the military's top guns around the world. That was cool. Just like, standing right near this fairly ordinary-looking cubicle from which you can pick up the phone and call Afghanistan, and be like "So....how's it going over there?"

There's a flatscreen TV high on the wall in the back of the office, turned to some news channel. At one point while we were in there, the talking heads disappeared and a car chase flashed onto the screen.

"High speed chase!" somebody yelled, and everyone turned to see.

It's funny because in the intern cave back in our building, there's been more than one slow afternoon where we've all crowded around our tiny TV, transfixed by some insane driver in Texas.

I guess Ricky Gervais was really onto something. All offices are basically the same.

The baddest

2009-08-11T11:08:00.008-04:00

You can pretty much have your pick of insane Mike Tyson quotes.

Here's mine:

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

*shudder*

Some tips

2009-08-10T22:07:00.007-04:00

1. Don't get caught in a downpour in business formal attire.

2. Don't get caught in a downpour in business formal attire, with an ice cream cone.

3. If you get caught in a downpour with nice clothes and ice cream, do so with your roommate on the hottest fucking day of the year. This will minimize feelings of minor annoyance/maximize the feeling that it's actually a pretty good time.

Post-harDCore / ice water toast

2009-08-10T20:41:00.012-04:00

This blog is pretty limited in scope: basically, music, D.C., and music in D.C. So I've been thinking about what happens to it when I leave here on Sunday.

On one hand I really, really dig this kind of writing. And I've missed it a lot since my column ended. On the other hand, maybe I won't have the time for it after Sunday.

This internship's actually been kind of like a vacation, see. I'm on intern time here. Clock in at 9:30, clock out at 5:30. Go home, have adventures, fuck around, whatever.

Soon as I get off the plane, I'm back on Maroon time. Four medium-to-big sized projects I need at least a game plan for before touching down in Chicago. So basically, it's back to that 24-hour eat-sleep-breathe-dream-nothing-but-the-newspaper mode that tends to make finding time for anything else...difficult.

But that just sounds depressing so fuck it, here's what I'll do: keep this thing going as long as it takes me to post an interview with Ian. Maybe that's a week, maybe it's three weeks from now. If anyone has objections to reading posts from San Francisco under the "harDCore" banner, I'll give that due consideration. And then I'll laugh at you for a bit.

Anyway. Not much to say other than that, so I'll talk about the weather. Today it was hot as all hell. No A/C on the Metro either. Walked home from Dupont Circle. Stopped into Chipotle on the way, asked for ice water before trekking the two blocks left toward home. Justin says the summer's been so mild so far, I almost haven't had a legit D.C. internship.

Put it this way: Today I got legit, bitches.

Here's to cooler futures.

NEWSFLASH: Scientists discover intern's backbone

2009-08-09T21:34:00.016-04:00

Set out for Adams Morgan at 6:30. The record stores close at 7. Didn't have time to buy anything.

So I killed time at Idle Time, then started looking for dinner.

First I found Ian.

He was walking out of the Amsterdam Falafel shop with Amy and Carmine. I decided I'd had enough of being a sissy and said hi...albeit, quietly. I'm the kid who asked you for an interview, I said. He remembered, shook my hand.

I stood there on the sidewalk for a minute or so after he walked away. Then it all sank in. Spontaneous dancing may or may not have occurred.

Decided to order falafel, to mark the occasion. But the place was cash only. So next best thing, Shawarma Spot across the street.

Went in. And there he was again! I guess Team Ian didn't have cash either.

Thought about bolting, so as to not seem stalkerish. But he saw me and started chatting, so I guess I wasn't giving off too many creeper vibes.

While I waited for my order, he told me a couple things about D.C. I didn't know. He said he and Amy and Jr. had just come from the weekly drum circle at Meridian Hill Park. Too bad I won't be here another Sunday to see it.

I said I'd been to Fort Reno a bunch of times, and he told me about the Night of a Thousand Cakes. This year it fell on the day of a downpour, which is why I wasn't there. But five or six people did show up with cakes, he said. One cake even had a model of the Fort Reno tower on it.

And he gave me his number at Dischord. Said to call tomorrow, see if we could set something up before he leaves town.

It's funny...I left the house thinking about how I might miss the record stores' hours.

Thinking I had the world's worst timing.

The weekend thus far

2009-08-08T23:38:00.076-04:00

Yesterday Annie and I made buckeyes.

For those not blessed with an Ohioan roommate, here's a buckeye primer.

My camera conked out, hence the reliance on Paint.

This morning I just sat around watching parkour videos. I could be on Mars for 10 weeks, and I'd probably still spend half a day some time just sitting around watching parkour videos. [P.S. Maybe it's not as much of a feat as jumping from roof to roof, but my jaw still hit the floor when I saw this.]

Eventually I had to get out of the house to keep from OD'ing on YouTube and buckeyes. Went to the National Building Museum, the National Portrait Gallery, the National Museum of American Art. This is my last full weekend here, so I'm trying to squeeze in everything I haven't done yet.

The art museum gift shop had this book, which, as you can see, bears the "This is not a Fugazi t-shirt" t-shirt on the cover. Naturally, I had to page through and investigate.

The deal is that Jeff Nelson, who co-owns Dischord with Ian, thinks band shirts are totally legitimate business. But Ian sees all band-name merchandise as distractions from the music.

He won; the label doesn't sell any shirts.

Now this I didn't know: In his typical, moral badass style, Ian actually tracked down the guy making the "not Fugazi" shirts and ordered him to donate all the profits to a charity of his choice. The guy picked a women's shelter in Boston.

Way to educate, Smithsonian.

All those museums are either near or in Chinatown. Couple blocks away I saw a souvenir shop advertising martial arts weapons. Inside, $89 broadswords and two girls buying mace for $14.99.

And then there was this crazy...knife?...up on the wall. I asked the clerk, she didn't know what to call it either. Anyway, it looked more or less like this:
Whatever it is, seems like it would make a pretty ridiculous combat weapon.

Anyway. Finally got around to seeing Politics and Prose, the bookstore where Barbara Boxer read last week and Howard Dean'll be reading this week.

They had copies of Banned in D.C., signed by Cynthia Connolly! $25 though. Sigh. Maybe I'll go back for it.

And that brings us to now. At present, I'm soaking in the best of Saturday night cable, switching between Terminator 2 and Adventures in Babysitting. The way I figure, equal cinematic doses of apocalypse prevention and University of Chicago frat boys will put me in the right mindset to deal with the thought of going back to school.

...though now that I think about it, that sounds like the exact opposite of a logical reaction.

Friday OMV: Rock over Minneapolis edition

2009-08-07T19:43:00.014-04:00

The Replacements made their who-knows-how-serious play for mainstream success just in time to have a pretty memorable television history. There's their infamous swipe at MTV, where the camera's pointed at a stereo playing "Bastards of Young" for the entire music video.

There's their totally smashed, clothes-swapping rendition of "Kiss Me on the Bus" for SNL, which probably had more comedy to it than any of the sketches that night.

In my mind though, the hands-down highlight of the Replacements' video archive is this 1981 show at 7th Street Entry, which Twin/Tone had the great presence of mind to record in its entirety.

Props, also, to whoever had the presence of mind to give them a minimum of alcohol before they played.

So here's the first part: "Takin' a Ride," "Staples in Her Stomach," and "Careless."

They're so lean and mean here -- it's kind of hard to believe this is the same band that got up other nights and switched instruments, forgot their own lyrics, and accompanied their roadie in Wizard of Oz covers.

Not that night though.

Tommy, who's only 14 years old here, was jumping like a Mexican bean, tearing the place to shreds with that bass, pausing only to give a cursory middle finger for the camera. Bob's guitar was cooking so hard he ended up with a four-course meal at the end of the show. Skinsman Chris keeps time very well, thank you, despite what the song says.

And if you ever had a question about whether Paul Westerberg could belt a tune...well, he pretty much answered that one for all time.

Do you ever get the feeling you were born 28 years too late, or does that only happen to me?

T minus 5 work days

2009-08-07T16:44:00.007-04:00

I think I jinxed myself with the last post. This may be my last [barely newsworthy] space story. Next week there's a five-hour public meeting on space, but I already went to one of those this week. At the end of the month Obama's getting recommendations on what the future of human spaceflight should be. But I won't be here to cover it.

I guess this is goodbye, space stories. You were so weird and fun to report.

*tear*

Space report

2009-08-06T17:14:00.008-04:00

YouTube is old hat. Astronauts have now graduated to Twittering from space. It's not too interesting yet. When they run into leg-eating aliens I'll let you know.

Also, wrote another NASA article today. Dunno exactly why I've been covering space so much here.

Honestly, it's probably a sign of journalistic incompetence. I'm in Washington, surrounded by such erupting volcanoes as health care, the economy, the environment, Iraq. And what do I do all day?

Listen to people argue about whether we should colonize the moon or Mars first.

I'm kidding, sort of. Human spaceflight is the mother of all sleeper issues...both in that it could be a huge issue, and it'll take decades to become a huge issue.

So maybe I'll have the satisfaction of saying I told you so to the people in my retirement community?

Gahh. Don't think too hard about your motivations.

Back!

2009-08-06T08:30:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday. Work/my atrocious sleeping habits finally got the better of me.

This blog, however, remains steadfast in its aim to help you goof off at work. As a token of my renewed commitment, I offer you this highly amusing and highly Japanese Flash video game.

It's called Nanaka Crash. The instructions are in Japanese, so here's the gist of it: There's a boy being mean to you at school. So as justice would dictate, you have to ram into him with your bicycle at the ideal angle, and then keep him writhing in the air for as long as possible.

Oh, first you have to wait until the cross fills up with blood.

Okay good. Now press the launcher (full force at a 45 degree angle is best) and let the jerk fly.

When the bastard's about to touch down, make sure he lands on a character who's sympathetic to your plight. Generally the girls will give him a good kick, and the boys will slow him down. You can angle the turd up or down while he's in the air based on the color of the "Aerial" bar.

Okay, here' s the best part. Check the "special" bar. If the butt-headed hoodlum lands on one of the special characters, click to inflict the most intense violence possible in the game. He'll fly like a bird after that.

Unless she's marked special, the girl with the glasses will stop the malodorous cracknugget in his gory tracks. It's a good game. Seriously, try it some time when you're really pissed at someone. It's oddly comforting.

So...think you can beat my high score?

Lunchtime post: Obama birthday burger edition

2009-08-04T11:52:00.003-04:00

Here's what's up in D.C. today--

1. Obama's getting a burger named after him. If I were closer to Tenleytown I'd go in for free cake...and to see if the birthday boy skips out on that whole White House lunch with the Senate Dems to take Z-Burger up on their invitation.

2. There's a free show at the Black Cat tonight. I was planning on going, but then I heard about

3. this show at the Velvet Lounge. Here's the breathless billing:

members of: Fugazi, Thievery Corporation, Gogogo Airheart, All Scars, Matta Gawa, Sonic Suicide Squad, Chromatic Mysteries, PRV Trio all performing on a GUITAR TRIO DOUBLE BILL, PRIVATE LANGUAGE ARGUMENT (Chris Haskett, Jerry Busher, Ashish Vyas), CHRIS HASKETT OF THE ROLLINS BAND

Naturally, it's the "member(s) of Fugazi" part that I'm insatiably curious about. My money's on Joe. Or maybe Brendan...

Anyway. Happy 48th, Mr. President.

This is a post with no words

2009-08-03T22:59:00.007-04:00

Twenty minutes ago I checked my email. One new message. The sender was "ian mackaye."

I sat there staring at my screen for about five minutes. I nearly clicked it a couple times, but then my breathing got really shallow and I couldn't follow through. I gave up and asked Annie to come over and read it for me.

She sat down next to my computer and clicked. She skimmed the contents over.

She gave me two thumbs up.

I tried to say something, but for a couple seconds all I could do was squeal like a pig.

He's a really busy guy, and he'll be out of town starting next week. But he said he can do a phone interview late in the month.

Yesterday I said Polvo made my decade. Now I guess I'm covered for the next 20 years.

Free stuff: tonight edition

2009-08-03T15:28:00.004-04:00

1. Screen on the Green, but of course.

2. Barbara Boxer reads from her second novel, Blind Trust!

"a story of political integrity and dirty tricks. It centers on second-term Democratic senator Ellen Fisher, who is caught in an increasingly nasty struggle with the aggressive Vice President as she prepares to chair potentially explosive hearings on national security issues."

For some reason that strikes me as kind of adorable: a politician ~~ghost~~writing political fiction.

Inter-orbital reporting

2009-08-03T11:38:00.003-04:00

The space shuttle crew's going to take questions via YouTube on their next space station mission.

How awesome/obnoxious would it be to try to interview astronauts...while they're in space?

Live life in reverse

2009-08-02T12:19:00.030-04:00

I dunno if you've ever been in a club, surrounded by vacant lots and car dealerships, screaming the name of a North Carolina underground band from 1990 with a hundred Baltimoreans.

Let me tell you, it's fucking fantastic.

I took a couple terrible pictures, and then my camera died. I didn't really care. If things go according to plan, I'll see these guys a thousand more times in my life. And I had my eyes closed most of the show anyway.

Polvo...man, I wish I could link you to a song or a video that would explain how incredible they are, but there's just no substitute for seeing them live.

Here's why: They don't just play the songs off the albums. What they play live are like mini-symphonies based on the studio tracks, so you can't tell what they're playing until a minute and a half in. And they're not just jamming either. They're 200% practiced, completely in sync.

What they must've done is spent god knows how long woodshedding each song to have all the kick of a new one, all the familiarity and...I dunno, legacy....of an old one -- and above all, to just completely kick ass.

The guy on the left up there is Ash Bowie. He's the greatest guitarist on the planet.

Okay, my superlatives probably don't mean much to anybody but me. I just never understood the full potential of a guitar until I saw him play it.

Anyway, I'm curious: What's your conception of a rock virtuoso? Because I'd guess for most people it's a noodling, Jimmy Page-type character.

The guys in Polvo are virtuosic, but not in that way. They can do all the tricks, all the super-fast super-complex instrumental acrobatics. But they flex their muscles with so much more discretion, with so much more attention to harmony and dissonance, that the result's about 20 million times more powerful than any Zeppelin tune.

When they hold back and let the song build, it's like you can smell a storm coming. And when they let go...

When they let go, it's the sonic equivalent of an earthquake.

They come to Chicago on September 5. Just sayin'.

Only 23 more days of this. I'll kinda miss it.

Though not the part where I get charged $2 extra for being underage. How's that legal again?

Wrote the set list on the flipside. There was one more song at the end, couldn't remember the name of it. New songs come out September 8.

You'll notice that "Can I Ride" isn't on there, even though one dude offered them increasing amounts of money to play it. I think he got to $80 by the end of the night.

Better give some love to the opening acts -- I'm always appreciative of starters who don't suck. It was an all-North Carolina bill. This girl's from Free Electric State of Durham. Solid rock'n'roll with occasional male-female vocal harmonies, which I'm rather partial to.

And then these guys are The Magic Babies from Raleigh, my hometown. A multi-type pop group -- mostly surf, but some alt-country in there too.

The place was the Ottobar, on Howard Street. They have a little balcony on the left side, and at one point there were three kids leaning over, doing some pretty righteous headbanging. You might be able to see one kid over Ash's shoulder in the topmost picture.

One unfortunate thing about being a Polvo fan is that it's kind of lonely. Their obscurity is, like, inversely proportional to how awesome they are. So being surrounded by people, not even in a big town with a decent music scene (as far as I know, anyway), and hearing people yell stuff like "thank you Polvo!" and "you guys, really, really, really kick ass!" and requesting songs by singing out a couple bars, and cheering along with me for a third encore...I dunno, that all pretty much made my decade.

Final addendum to this long fucking post: Thank you, Serena, for putting me up again -- you're truly my patron of the arts. One day I'll mail you a tote bag or something.

More B'more

2009-08-01T12:19:00.004-04:00

Lest you think all I do is sit around the house listening to Alice in Chains, I'm going back to Baltimore tonight to see Polvo.

They're from Chapel Hill, N.C. One of my favorite bands ever. They broke up in 1998, and got back together last year. John and I drove up from South Bend for Wicker Park Fest to see them.

If you've never gotten the hang of fuzzy, dissonant guitar sounds, you probably won't like them. But here are some good songs, if you want to try.

Fast Canoe - Pretty listenable. I like the words.
My Kimono - 58 seconds of my favorite instrumental.
Vibracobra - Signature guitar gorgeousness.
Lazy Comet - The best of their Eastern-sounding tendencies.
Can I Ride - In a perfect world, this would be top 40s material.

All right then. Have a good night y'all.

Friday OMV: unsolicited '90s diatribe edition

2009-07-31T23:49:00.024-04:00

There's so much that's ridiculous about this video.

Besides the lyrics, which are completely beyond help, there's the cartoonish headbanging, the Troll-reminiscent hair stylings, the deafening censor, and the Great Barrier Reef of bouncers.

And then there's Layne, trying his best to do a proper, metalicious head-quake even though he clearly doesn't have the hair for it. Totally misses the exit to badass and goes all the way to unintentionally adorable.

Despite its abundant silliness, I've seen this clip at least 20 times. And not even for laughs.

It's all about Layne's voice. That voice could -- you name it -- lift an elephant, churn Lake Michigan, power the sun.

Y'all know that having a "good singing voice" is optional for rock vocalists. They can always make up in character what they lack in chops. Let's say that rock vocals are a volcano. The average singer on his best day gets a little lava trickling over the side.

When Layne sang, there'd be a city to excavate.

He was a diva, plain and simple. Just, blew the fucking roof off every time he opened his mouth.

He had the sultry croon, the eerie-ass vibrato, and the definitive, ear-branding rebel yell. [Throw me a bone and click that last one, it's fucking incredible.] Show me another human being in the next century with pipes like that, and....I dunno, I guess I'll make sure he never learns the word heroin.

Make no mistake: Alice had a lot of concrete shoes. The stupid glam band posturing, the boneheaded metal riffs, Layne's own godawful lyrics. And yet, none of those things could sink his voice. That was the antigrav machine that made the whole band fly. It was just...utterly unstoppable.

Until, you know, it stopped.

One thing I hate about journalism is how the sheer volume of coverage on a story can dictate its historical weight. Because musically speaking, Kurt wasn't the great grunge tragedy. Not even close.

Cupcakes for free, punk books at a price

2009-07-31T18:43:00.016-04:00

I'm gonna say it again -- go claim your free mini at the Red Velvet Cupcakery, a.k.a. the TangySweet at 2029 P Street. They're delicious, they're open till 1 a.m. They're out of red velvet, but the other flavors are plenty good too.

Also, meet my pals.

Here's Annie rocking out the vanilla bean.

This clown Stephen we try not to associate with went for birthday cake.

I was curious about the Second Story Books across the street, so we went in to investigate. They had a copy of Please Kill Me signed by Legs McNeil AND Gillian McCain!

It was $100 though. Bummer.

Friday OMV, however, is free. So stay tuned.

Last chance for a slow dance

2009-07-31T02:20:00.023-04:00

This was probably my least favorite lineup out of the four park shows I've been to -- all pop acts, no punk -- but it was still a good time. The atmosphere there's just...kind of unbeatable.

Saw Ian again. Didn't have the guts to go up and say hi.

Know what I hate? How pop culture romanticizes shyness. It's a fucking disability.

Anyway. Here's how it went down.

This is Grendel Babies. They're like Rasputina with a violin and keyboard instead of cellos. As you might guess from their name/outfits, they had a song about gay werewolves.

Next was Casper Bangs. Standard but competent indie pop.

Rull big crowd.

TONS of people got up and danced for the last band.

They were called Title Tracks. Usually the last band's the best, and usually Dischord bands are pretty good. But their set would've put me to sleep if not for the dancers. Huh.

Hope so.

Free things for D.C. folks

2009-07-30T17:10:00.007-04:00

1. The last Fort Reno show of the summer. It's tonight. Go.

2. Red velvet mini-cuppin' cakes, courtesy of a new cupcakery opening tomorrow in Dupont Circle.

See you at Fort Reno then. Hey, I can dream.

Pros and cuts

2009-07-29T22:57:00.020-04:00

Lots of things happened today. Some of them good. Some bloody good. Here goes.

PROS:

1. Bagged a health care article.

2. Saw John Kerry speak at the Press Club.

Really knew his stuff about climate change. He was as long-winded as his legend tells, but in a smart and interesting way, I thought. Mike fell asleep during the Q&A though so...clearly, responses varied.

3. Will NOT be seeing Nick Jonas speak at the Press Club. Good lord.

4. Met Don, the internship coordinator for The Chronicle of Higher Education, who raised my self-esteem by 3000% last year by telling me he was on the brink of offering me a summer slot. I dunno what I envy more -- that he's worked for the Times, or that he's seen Fugazi live.

Before talking to Don, I'd never had a decent conversation about music with someone in possession of hiring clout. Much the opposite.

Last year I was interviewing for a features internship at the Star Tribune in Minneapolis. I figured it couldn't hurt to tell the recruiter about my undying affection for the Replacements and Hüsker Dü. In fact, this just seemed to confuse her. Surprisingly, I didn't get the job.

I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.

5. Went to Smash tonight. Bought another Beauty Pill record, The Unsustainable Lifestyle. Before accepting my $5.28, the clerk went back to the racks and returned with You Are Right to be Afraid in a cardboard sleeve.

"Do you want this for free?" he said. "We can never sell the slipcovers."

It was tough, but I managed to not pay for it.

CUTS:

1. Got a paper cut from a stack of Congressional testimony on my way out of the office.

2. Dropped a CD in the store, scraped my knuckle on something in the commotion.

And....that's it. More guts and glory tomorrow.

48-hour Monday

2009-07-28T18:37:00.013-04:00

Finally knocked out this Falun Gong story. Fucking thing, took forever to get in the ground. After the link there's ~~a really good reason why I should stick with print reporting~~ a video I made. Yeah, I know I could just embed it. But it sucks. And I'm shy. I hate you. Go away.

When I'm not taking epochs to write a feature story, I spend my time taking the least animated photograph of Elizabeth Edwards known to man.

Sigh.

Glory to the PRC! and other news

2009-07-27T22:33:00.013-04:00

Definitely a Monday.

The Metro card machines wouldn't take plastic this morning. I thought maybe they were trying to protect me. Had to stop by the Chinese embassy first thing, after spending the better part of last week reading State Department reports on whether or not the CCP harvests organs from living prisoners.

My boss told me to call her if they arrested me. I think she was kidding. Incarceration humor's a little lost on me now.

Anyway. Annie and I went on a girl-date to Starbucks after work, read the Chinese Onion on the train back. That took the edge off my red scare :oP

And, since it's Monday, headed down to Fort Reno. Saw North America. They gave away CDs after the show.

Mine has a cat sticker on it, see?

---

P.S. Two of my friends got sweet jobs. Annie could spend the rest of the year as the Student Press Law Center's hired muscle.

And Arlinda took a position that might sound familiar. Can't wait to hear stories.

Anyway. Congrats, roomies!

Like dentists at a tooth museum

2009-07-26T20:00:00.032-04:00

I've been to the Newseum four times, but never to see the exhibits. Three times on assignment, once ~~to go to an awards ceremony~~ for free hors d'oeuvres.

Anyway. Finally got around to it today.

Me, Annie, and Stephen were there a good three hours. It was pretty interesting.

And, frequently, pretty depressing.

Big open glassy building. Good start.

Points for the chopper.

Our hot jefe.

Alas, hotness isn't usually the Pulitzer standard.

Couldn't get over this one.

Comic relief.

And then the 9/11 stuff.

Strategically placed tissues.

Who?

What...

Aww :o\

Slices of the Berlin wall.

Erm...wasn't compromising its integrity kind of the point?

A bunch of the foreign newspapers looked really familiar, I realized, from all the times Tom's brought them out during font/layout discussions.

Really nice view of the Cap' from the sixth floor.

Lipkin, this one's for you.

"There was a show we did in Chicago where the barricade made four times as much money as we did. The BARRICADE."

2009-07-26T12:14:00.003-04:00

I failed to notice until today that Prindle interviewed Ian this year. Sigh. I'm off my game.

Ian's interviews are always really interesting, and not just to kids like me who take them as the fifth gospel. There are a lot of cool musicians out there. But it's pretty rare that someone who's a force in music is also a force in the economics of music. Listening to what somebody like that says'll give you a rare window into an industry that likes keeping out of the sun. To the detriment of all music, if you ask me.

So. Have a taste.

So once you put a barricade in, then you have to staff the barricade. So it just costs more and more money, and this results in higher ticket prices. So these people that were just 'having fun' and just 'going off' - what they were really doing was they were perverting the peoples' music. They were creating a corporate climate...

...so finally I said that I insisted that we include in the budget 100 balloons and a can of helium. And the guy was like, "What? What are you talking about!?" And I said, "If you're gonna have such a draconian set-up, and since when people are entering the room that's the first thing they'll see, it sets a contrary tone. So as a form of protest and an absurdity, I would like to soften it by having balloons tied to it all the way around." They did it! But I was just spitting in the wind, because that night we just got banged. We had 3900 people at that show, and we made less than the guy that drove the forklift.

Though they're not selling the BaRock yet

2009-07-26T00:38:00.012-04:00

Annie and I ate at Ben's Chili Bowl just now. This is because

it's got a good story.
it's an essential part of the D.C. experience, says Justin.
Google Maps said it was the closest turkey burger.

So we went. And it kind of reminded me of Hyde Park. Bill Cosby's been their #1 fan for a long time, but now it seems to be the Obamas.

See what I mean? And there's pictures of other famous patrons all over the walls too. It's kinda like Ribs 'n' Bibs, except with chili. And tables.

P.S. The dining advice of a beef non-eater is pretty useless here, but in any case -- my t-burger/Annie's hot dog were so-so. The "thick creamy milkshakes" totally deserve the extra adjectives though.

Stuff I picked up at the record store last week and then forgot about

2009-07-25T16:06:00.008-04:00

1. Free admit-two ticket to Adam, which appears to be a Sundance romantic comedy where the leading man has Asperger's. It's for a 7:30 show on Monday at E Street Cinema. Think I'm gonna go to Screen on the Green instead. So you can have it if you want it.

2. A flier for a show at the Co-op D'etat. With Der Struwwelpeter on it!

This post brought to you in part by Dwight K. Schrute.

Friday OMV: Mainstream edition

2009-07-24T22:16:00.014-04:00

Anyway, obscure just means that not enough people have seen it.

To review, here's why this is great.

1) It's a pretty choice pop song.

2) It's documented proof that Thom Yorke is half ape.

3) The plot justifies the whole medium of music video.

All right then. Happy weekend.

So much for the Walgreens joke.

2009-07-23T22:18:00.006-04:00

Worked late. Got to the platform at 8:33. I remember because this guy asked me for the time. He had a good shirt:

He said he works for Mathematica. He's on their softball team.

I never miss being at school. Today I'm kinda missing the nerds though.

My hobby

2009-07-23T08:36:00.001-04:00

Props to Annie for inventing it.

Starstruck

2009-07-23T00:41:00.009-04:00

I fell asleep questioning my fitness as a journalist. When I woke up, I had an email from Homer Hickam. He said his assistant found me through Google Alerts. He also said this:

Thank you for putting the rest of the interview out there. You're obviously a writer and interviewer with talent. Don't worry about the little things. Wherever it is you want to go, you'll get there, by and by. I am absolutely confident you will have a fine career and a great life.

Keep aiming high,

Homer Hickam

This gives me a big tangle of unrelated thoughts.

--Observation 1: Homer Hickam is a really, really, really nice guy.

--Observation 2: The universe doesn't usually work out to reassure you in the most awesome way possible. So this is neat.

--Observation 3: People with talent sometimes fail miserably.

--Observation 4: Sometimes I can't stop worrying about observation 3.

--Observation 5: Talking to your heroes is really productive. Both for making an article cooler and for trying to figure yourself out.

--Observation 6: Holy crap, Homer Hickam's seen my blog!

And I called him "H-dawg"!

October Sky = an anagram for Rocket Boys. Thanks Wikipedia!

2009-07-22T04:07:00.016-04:00

Day before yesterday I spoke to/listened to Jim Lovell, Buzz Aldrin, and Homer Hickam, and still managed to be depressed at clock out. Fuckin' Mondays.

I kinda put myself in knots over getting an interview with triple-H. And even though some of my questions were retarded he said a lot of cool stuff. And then it turned out I couldn't elegantly fit more than three lines of him into the article by deadline. And then I was in knots over that.

So, god knows why, I typed up the whole damn thing. It's kinda long. Just, like, humor me and pretend to read it.

Me: Could you tell me a little bit about [your experience seeing the moon landing]?

Homer H. Hickam: I was at Fort Lewis, Washington. I was in the army at that time, and we were out in the field in tent city, and I had to go over to the [inaudible word] barracks to find a television to watch the moonwalk. I had only returned to Vietnam a few months before that time. I wasn't yet working in the program, but I sure was interested.

Me: How did it feel to see the moonwalk?

H-dawg: Well you know, what I was really thinking about when I saw Neil and Buzz walking on the moon at that time, was reflecting on my high school science teacher Ms. Riley, who I wrote about a lot in Rocket Boys, and was in the movie October Sky. Ms. Riley had Hodkins disease, and she only lived a couple of months past the Apollo 11, but I was sure hoping that she was healthy enough to watch the moonwalk. And I later heard from her sister that she did, and that she was thinking about her rocket boys.

Me: That's great. This is probably a silly question, but having personally suggested to JFK that we should go to the moon, did you feel like you had some kind of personal stake in it?

H.H.H.: [Laughs] Yes. Now here's my funny story on this. After I started working for NASA, which was when the Shuttle program started, the guys who'd worked on Apollo would come around and say "Homer, Homer, Homer, you should've been here during our glory days when we went to the moon." And I used to laugh and say "You'd have never gone anywhere if I hadn't talked to Jack Kennedy back in West Virginia." And they'd look at me like I was crazy. [Laughs] So I had to include that little episode in Rocket Boys.

Me: Do you think kids have the same kind of excitement about science and technology today as they did back then?

H.H.H.: Oh absolutely. Pre-high-school kids especially. High school kids, they're a tough audience. They're interested in other things. But--I'm being a little bit facetious there--but very definitely middle school, grade school. Those kids, they're just so curious about everything, and they want to know, and they'll ask you so many questions they'll drive you crazy. So I really believe that nothing's changed in terms of kids being curious about things and wanting to learn things.

I think what's changed really is the adults. The attitudes of a lot of adults who kind of, they've grown up with the space program, it's kind of old hat to them, they forget that for these kids, it's all something brand new and they're really interested in it.

Me: Buzz Aldrin and a lot of the other astronauts are big advocates of going to Mars. What do you think the future of our space program should be?

H.H.H.: I think we probably should first go back to the moon, and build an infrastructure. I'm a moon junkie. And I think an infrastructure is required that -- y'know, I'm a sequential thinker, and I like to think that first we take the first step, and that's to make something on the moon. Then we figure out how to live there and take the next step out to Mars.

Mars right now is a tough haul for human beings. With our rockets it takes almost a year to get out there. That's a lot of radiation for folks to absorb. So I think ultimately we have to build a nuclear rocket or a more advanced rocket that gets there in a matter of weeks rather than months, before we can really go and do any good work on Mars.

But you know, philosophically, I almost don't care how we do it. What I care is, if we do it, because I want us to do it so badly. I think there's a driving purpose for that.

Now I go out every summer and hunt dinosaurs, in Montana. So I'm starting to get a real good feel for deep time. The dinosaurs I dig up are 65 million years old. So we've evolved all these years and here we are.

So why in the world did nature, God, our creator, whatever it is that conjured us up, decide that we needed intelligence? I mean, all these millions of years, there was no intelligent being on this planet. The only reason I can figure out is because it's up to us, as probably the only intelligent beings in the universe, to spread life across the universe. So I believe that that is our duty, to build the ships that start spreading life first across the solar system and then on into the universe. I believe we have to take that kind of philosophical approach to this whole thing.

Me: Do you think a lot of people today share that philosophical approach?

H.H.H.: I'm sure trying to get them to. [Laughs]. That's why I'm taking the opportunity with you and others to talk about that, because we space junkies, we can get into the nuts and bolts of stuff, and we start arguing about which rocket engine to use and all that kind of stuff, and whether to go to the moon rather than Mars. Ultimately, that doesn't really matter. What matters is that we go somewhere. And, we start building up the capability to do that. But in order to do it, we have to have an underlying philosophy of why you want to do it.

When the New World over here was settled, the philosophy at that time was to spread the Christian faith, which actually drove the first explorers -- and a little gold, I might add, but that came later -- drove them over here to keep exploring. So now, what philosophy are we going to carry into the solar system? I think we have to think about that, we have to come up with it, latch onto it, and allow that to be the driving force to carry us out there.

Me: What do you think the main legacy of Apollo 11 is?

H.H.H.: The main legacy is that we proved that we could do it, and that we have the capabilities to do it again. Up until then, there were a lot of folks who said it was absolutely, completely impossible to go to the moon. First it was impossible to put a satellite into orbit, then it was impossible to put a human in orbit, then it was impossible to put a human on the moon. And we proved them wrong, in all those cases. So, there it is, we know we can do it. And again it comes back to why we should do it, so let's figure that out, and then let's go.

Me: Are you celebrating in any way?

H.H.H.: Well I went out to the Space and Rocket Center here in Huntsville [Alabama]. That's where Space Camp is. Today they were having a celebration for Werner von Braun and a lot of the folks who worked with him. So I went out there and spent a few hours with them and had a real wonderful time. Huntsville of course is rocket city, and we're kind of big on space here. So it doesn't take much for us to come out and celebrate. We actually had our biggest celebration back in February, we just couldn't wait. I mean I got a tuxedo and everything, it was -- not exactly a pretty sight, but it was a... [inaudible, laughs]

Me: I've actually been interviewing a bunch of people today, and I met someone who still isn't convinced that the moon landing actually happened. Have you encountered those people, and what do you say to them?

H.H.H.: Well, now, I tell them what idiots they were in a very nice way. But now, fortunately, we have a satellite orbitting the moon which has taken pictures of the landing site. And you can actually see the shadows cast of the lunar landers. Also, it looks like they're going to be able to image the lunar rovers. So now we can say, "So look at this picture, here it is."

The other thing I said was, "Come to Huntsville. Go to the local cemetery. And walk, and see all the young men who died in their 40s." And there's a rather large percentage of them. Why? They worked themselves to death, meeting the goal of sending men to the moon in the 1960s as President Kennedy proposed.

That's why it's taken us so long to go back, by the way. These men and women, but mostly men, they were the geeks of our time. White shirts...pocket protectors...literally destroyed their health -- I mean they smoked cigarettes endlessly -- destroyed their health, destroyed their families, quite often, in an absolute, complete and utter 24 hour day a week 7 day a week dedication to building a machine to carry people to the moon. We could not do it that fast now without having men and women who are willing to do that again, and there's not many around who are. And we don't have to. We can take our time now. But we really had that goal to meet.

Me: Well that's actually all my questions. Is there anything you'd like to add, about the atmosphere of today being the 40th anniversary?

H.H.H.: Well, I'm very pleased that a lot of people are paying attention to it. What I'm actually most concerned about with the space program is losing next year our ability to put Americans into space.

That is a catastrophe in my opinion. We need to do something about that. We need to either spread the Shuttle program out, and I keep hearing "Oh you can't do that Homer, we put the contracts down." Oh come on, the federal government can do anything they want to. We need to keep Shuttle going until we get its replacement.

There is one company that I want every American to pay attention to, it's called SpaceX.

Me: Oh yeah, I've heard of them.

H.H.H.: It has the capability, I believe, of putting Americans into orbit before NASA does. It just needs a little bit of support from the federal government, from all of us, to carry it on. SpaceX, let's go.

The hell are you gonna do with a geography degree?

2009-07-22T02:29:00.007-04:00

Damned if I know. Maybe I'll make a map of how depressing the South Side is.

Committed

2009-07-21T20:57:00.018-04:00

Just came back from a show at a mental hospital. What can I say. I love me some punk rock.

It was the Andalusians again, the band I saw at the Black Cat a couple weeks ago. This time following the noble example of the Cramps.

The gig was at St. Elizabeth's in Congress Heights. Big brick building, rusty bars on a few of the windows. Big concrete barrier around the yard. Nice outdoor stage.

Went through a metal detector, had to leave my stuff in a locker. No cameras allowed inside. Otherwise maybe I'd be able to show you the guy with the epic underbite who stood in front of the stage with one arm up for a couple minutes straight.

Or the hunchback dude who had a pretty cool swagger, but would periodically get distracted by invisible monsters or something that he'd have to swipe away with a plastic comb.

Generally though, I think punks dance way crazier than crazy people.

I think I was the only non-patient there. It wasn't exactly weird though. Most shows, I'm in with a bunch of skinny-jeans white guys. This one, a couple hundred black mental patients. I felt out of place, but I always feel out of place at shows. It's not about race either, though it probably reads that way. I dunno. Can't quite put my finger on the difference.

Anyway, the guy I sat next to gave me a fist-bump at the end of the show. I guess that's a good sign.

The patients yelled out some pretty funny requests. AC/DC, Janis Joplin. Alanis Morissette got enough voice votes that Basla sang a couple bars of "You Oughta Know" off mic. I said hi after the show, brought it up, and she said she was too embarrassed to do the whole song.

I'm always an awkward mess when I say hi to musicians, but I'm glad I did this time. Because guess who showed up to talk to Basla right after I did? No, not Ian. But very close. His kind-of wife Amy Farina (of the Evens) and their baby son Carmine. The kid I wrote my first column about. I met him today.

Crazy.

Lunchtime post: Apollo edition

2009-07-21T12:53:00.006-04:00

Some pictures from the NASA news conference yesterday. Buzz Aldrin's in the middle below, and Jim Lovell's in the middle in the second one.

Left to right on this one: Walter Cunningham, Jim Lovell, David Scott, Buzz Aldrin, Charles Duke, Tom Strafford, and Eugene Cernan. All Apollo guys. Good deal.

Maroonwatch, part II

2009-07-19T19:18:00.014-04:00

Good seeing y'all today, D.C. Maroons. For more distant Maroons, here's the skinny:

Aly tailed Larry Summers.

Matt's keeping an eye on where Cato's making waves.

Sara blogs a mean blog over at the National Journal. Look for her sidebars in the print mag.

Also look for Tim in the Washington Monthly when their college issue comes out.

Lastly, Justin made this.

P.S. One of those may be a fib.

-------

P.P.S. Ella and Andrew and Claire have blogged in service of the Maroon. Woot!

"Discover love in an arranged marriage."

2009-07-19T18:54:00.008-04:00

That's the subject line of an email I received today. The charming people above were enclosed.

The "discalimer" at the tail end of the message had this to say:

You have received this email because you requested to receive email updates from vcare.info and its alliance partners.

Indeed, I find this to be false.

So...spam can guess your ethnicity now? Jeepers.

I'm always tempted to ask guys in Nationals shirts how they like working at Walgreens.

2009-07-18T18:57:00.005-04:00

There were so many Cubs fans on the train today. Almost thought I was on the CTA red line.

Above ground and below, the going was face-clawingly slow today. Chicago's expansiveness generally works against it, but at least it never gets clogged the way D.C. does.

I guess that's the curse of a great pedestrian city. There'll always be times when sidewalk traffic can't keep pace with a dying slug.

So, what do you think -- can interns hate tourists? Un-ironically, I mean.

Friday ist rad.

2009-07-17T23:59:00.012-04:00

Jeepers! Almost went the whole day without administering your weekly dose of obscurity. In honor of a summer going by too fast, here's Pavement with "Gold Soundz." It's the best of many, many, many no-budget Pavement masterpieces.

Yesterday Mike asked me what my show/week ratio is, and I realized it's only 1/3. It kinda blows; it kinda doesn't. I came here with two big goals: drink in the punk rock and do some cool journalism. Which sounds all well and good, except immersion doesn't work that way. If I go all the way with the intern thing, the harDCore part loses out.

It's pretty obvious that 10 weeks here isn't enough. I'll have to come back and really live here someday. But it's a pretty shaky future out there, so who knows when that'll happen.

Anyway. That's the math on putting up this summery, sort-of-sad song.

I only read it for the articles

2009-07-16T19:32:00.042-04:00

CAUTION: MAKE SURE YOUR BOSS ISN'T BEHIND YOU.

Sorry.

Anyway. The Playmates were really cool. Reporters asked them a bunch of silly questions ("Hey Jayde, what's more fake, Pamela Anderson's boobs or this veggie dog?") and they gave as good as they got (Jayde, without missing a beat: "DEFINITELY her boobs.")

They'd tell shy female staffers they were hot enough to be models. There was some suggestive posing with hot dogs (I was too chicken to take pictures of that), but mostly they just chatted with people, autographed stuff, posed with beaming guys in suits, and handed out free food.

I dunno. It's one of those events that could easily get really weird and creepy, but the two of them just had everything under control.

Anyway. Here's my contribution to keeping the Internet seedy.

Left is Jo Garcia, 2008 Cyber Girl of the Year. Right is Jayde Nicole, 2008 Playmate of the Year.

And yes, that's real lettuce.

A couple reporters yelled, "Jayde, how do you think Congress would be different if everyone there was vegetarian?"

And she'd say something like, "I think they'd be a lot more fit. And they'd be happier. They always seem kind of cranky, don't they?"

It was some crowd, as you can imagine.

One of my interviewees said she wanted some man meat up there too,
in addition to the Lettuce Ladies.

A dispute quickly broke out among her friends as to whether you'd really want a dude there, handing you hot dogs.

My boss archly observed that the Playmates weren't wearing hairnets.

This one's my favorite. The Capitol in the back makes it extra surreal.

The PETA organizer was getting antsy at this point,
saying "We gotta go, we're illegally parked!"

A House staffer yelled back, "Everyone who could ticket you is right here!"

~

If you want the full story, register and read.

Tame pictures now, wild pictures later

2009-07-15T20:43:00.015-04:00

Playmate pictures are forthcoming. My boss downloads everything off our cameras, so she's giving me the too-hot-for-the-wire-service photos tomorrow. There are a couple pictures in the article, but you have to register to see them. Howsabout that headline, eh?

Anyway. I went to Ford's Theatre after work today. It was just reopening after two years of renovations, so press types like me got free ice cream. Apparently the whole building collapsed some 100 years ago, so it's all rebuilt and they still have plays there.

I guess their normal tour guides weren't around or something. I was talking to this guy Chris, who told me about the building collapse, and pointed out a nick in the portrait of Washington hanging outside Lincoln's box, where John Wilkes Booth's spur hit the glass while he was jumping off the balcony. He said he wrote a screenplay while he was in college about Lincoln's guest that night, Major Rathbone, who killed his wife years later because he saw people in the wallpaper.

I said, "Not a bad job, huh?"

He said, "I usually just work on the website."

(The recreated Lincoln skybox, with the original Washington portrait.)

(The rest of the theater. Pretty normal looking.)

Fun fact for readers to the end: I have the same birthday as JWB.

"Writer Wanted For Ex North Idaho Drug Kingpin"

2009-07-15T01:06:00.008-04:00

Here's another glimpse at the kind of ad I'll likely be answering after graduation.

But before I join the 900 people who've already emailed you, sir, I have a couple of questions.

--Why the "north"? Has anyone ever asked you, "Oh, what part of Idaho?"
--Is the "Statue of Limitations" like a Lady Liberty for the recession?
--Are you saying you're an ex-drug kingpin...or an ex-resident of Idaho?

Thanks for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

My favorite place on the Hill

2009-07-14T23:17:00.004-04:00

Hard-hitting? You must be talking about some other reporter.

2009-07-14T18:07:00.006-04:00

I'm photographing the Playmate of the Year tomorrow. Not sure whether this is a career high or low.

Happy Bastille Day

2009-07-14T08:05:00.004-04:00

Annie said we should celebrate properly and storm something. I suggested Mike, Scott, and Stephen's apartment. As we make our entrance, she will shout "Vive la France!" and I will shout "Bonjour!"

If we're too beat after work to do much breaking and entering, there's a cafe that's giving out free champagne to folks dressed in red, white and blue. Another place is having a French maid relay race.

My neighborhood's all right.

Lunchtime post: Delicious edition

2009-07-13T13:08:00.005-04:00

The CEO of Chipotle's testifying at the Rules Committee hearing I'm covering. How unseemly would it be to ask for coupons?

UPDATE: I couldn't believe how skinny he was.

UPDATE to the UPDATE: Here's what he was testifying for, S-dawg.

What I put off seeing Brüno for

2009-07-12T23:01:00.040-04:00

Chase wanted to see The Hurt Locker today, and I went along on account of how the trailer doubled my heart rate. Despite the title, it's actually about a bomb technician in Iraq, not emo kids in junior high.

On the movie poster there are three review snippets, which vary in accuracy. I'm too lazy to review the whole dang movie, so here's my review of the reviews.

"A near-perfect movie."

This is false. The movie has action, but not much plot. The bomb tech's pretty cool -- I don't know how you'd go about scripting an uncool bomb tech -- but he falls way short of being a character you take with you after the credits.
"A full-tilt action picture."

Also false, but that's not a bad thing. "Full-tilt" means there's something bleeding or blowing up every other frame. Hurt Locker takes its time, makes you wait for the explosions, and puts you through the wringer in the process. Which brings us to...
"Ferociously suspenseful."

Right on, A.O. Hurt Locker's basically a collection of combat and bomb defusion scenes that build up the tension and then let it snap about 60 seconds after you can't take any more. The guy who wrote the screenplay was an embedded reporter in a bomb squad, so everything's in this kind of sharp, gritty focus that I usually only get with my worst nightmares. The movie's got my respect for that. It lives on the opposite pole from fake and Hollywoodesque, which is probably the most important thing for a war film.

So...see it, if you have the time and inclination. It's less than the sum of its parts, but to an extent that's because some of the parts are so damn choice.

Fun with The Man, part II

2009-07-12T18:15:00.007-04:00

Yesterday Serena and I hung around at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. Today I've been trying fruitlessly to get the pictures off my phone. So, that spares y'all some stupid tourist shots of the enormous Barnes & Noble and people on dragon boats. It's a real loss, however, that you'll never see Serena brandishing crab claw oven mitts.

Anyway. The Inner Harbor's a super commercial place. We spent a lot of the day bumming around Pratt Plaza, I think it's called, which is basically just a mall. Honestly, not a bad way to spend the day. We went to high school in suburban Philly, where our usual weekend haunt was the famously gigantic King of Prussia Mall. So it was kind of nostalgic, trying on sunglasses, getting bubble tea, riffling through gag gifts at Urban Outfitters.

Not the most punk day trip, for sure. I probably should have shoplifted.

Burn us at stake, we dance in the woods

2009-07-12T11:08:00.026-04:00

I was too Ianstruck the other day to tell y'all much else about Fort Reno.

Basically, Fort Reno Park has this annual concert series where a bunch of bands play outside for free. It's racked up some good history. (Skip to 5:30 for quality anecdotage.)

There's skinny jeans punk kids in the audience, and a lot of actual kids too -- kicking around soccer balls or riding their bikes up to the stage or just running down the hill as fast as they can. Or dancing like crazy to the music. That's a sight to see before you die, by the way -- little kids dancing to punk rock.

So beside you there's a woman teaching her dog to sit, in front of you there's a 4-year-old doing cartwheels, and behind you there's a guy telling his friend how much acid he dropped at what show. Diversity, I guess you'd call it.

When it gets dark, the streetlight over the stage comes on. At that point it's like there's two shows -- the one on the stage, and the one right in front of it. The little kids break the ice, jumping and spinning like they have a yen to throw up. This inspires the punk kids to get to their feet and bust a move. Then the high school kids who've been hanging back a bit so far figure what the hell, and they start to loosen up and foot it in their own little circles. And by then, maybe 40 people are dancing under the stars to this reverb-y punk band they'd never heard or heard of before.

And by 9:25 it's all over. A couple hundred people pick up and walk home or get in their cars or pile into the Tenleytown Metro. It's Thursday. We've got work tomorrow.

HarDCore --> B'more

2009-07-10T19:22:00.005-04:00

I decided half an hour ago that I'm going to Baltimore tonight, and staying until Saturday. Doesn't sound like much of a feat. But for someone who's never had a driver's license, the ability to make spur-of-the-moment travel decisions feels kind of like a superpower.

Anyway. This morning I was about to ask my boss how scary Mob Town is these days.

Then I remembered I came here from the South Side, and suddenly the question seemed pretty irrelevant.

So. Y'all have a good weekend now.

Friday OMVblogging: Ianspotting edition

2009-07-10T15:47:00.002-04:00

They don't make shows like this anymore.

Not all of these are going to be Fugazi videos. This week's just special.

Square Stairs: the lost Pavement member

2009-07-10T08:56:00.008-04:00

The Capitol's pretty tight. But Congressional office buildings are way underrated.

P.S. Okay, so they're not really square. But nothing rhymes with "rounded rectangle."

Why I'll be grinning like an idiot 'til 2012

2009-07-09T22:39:00.013-04:00

So when I said "reporting on the District, going to shows, and stalking Ian MacKaye," I didn't mean all in the same day.

But today that's what happened.

I got to Fort Reno tonight, still in my work slacks and collared shirt, but in time for Imperial China. They're pretty fun live.

Anyway. Just as I was heading out I saw him. He was sitting on the back of the truck all the bands had their gear loaded into. He'd just been there, watching the show like I'd been doing, chilling with a couple of other dudes.

A few weeks ago, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, and Paul Rudd were in my neighborhood shooting a movie. I've never felt starstruck in this town until today though.

So I did what any other fangirl would've done.

I turned around and ran the fuck away.

Georgetown. ARGH!

2009-07-09T08:24:00.006-04:00

This happened over the weekend, but I've been too damn busy to tell y'all about it.

John and I went to Georgetown to take one of these punk text message tours (be forewarned, there's an obnoxious autoplay video if you click). But it completely failed to work. What the hell, punks?

So there we were on main street, all eager to channel the rage of 19-year-old Ian leering at preppy passersby from the ticket booth of Georgetown Theater. But not knowing where the hell to go, we were pretty much sentenced to doing normal weekend shopper/reveler things.

In case this ever happens to you, I made you my own punk tour of Georgetown. It doesn't have any historic harDCore stops on it. Just things to hate on as you stroll.

View Photo Slideshow

P.S. If y'all need some kind of explanation for why I care about this stuff 30 years after the fact, see these. Even if you don't care, watch them. Most are pretty hilarious, and some like "South African Embassy" are just neat history lessons.

$10 says the Tribune had an 05/05/05 party

2009-07-08T11:08:00.002-04:00

How will you celebrate?

News(to me)flash: Uno is a chain

2009-07-07T17:26:00.011-04:00

I do a lot of bitching about Chicago, so here are two things I like about it:

1. Deep dish.

2. Stephen (technically of Libertyville, but close enough).

So we're going to celebrate the latter's birthday with the former. On a related note: Michael Jackson has taken over, among other things, SomeEcards.

Lunchtime post

2009-07-06T11:31:00.005-04:00

Congress ain't back yet. In our office, that means we're working on stock obituaries. They'll probably print years after we leave here, but given the rash of celebrity deaths lately, maybe they'll print a little sooner.

So whenever the day comes, Google me for a solemn recapitulation of the life and times of Mike Tyson.

D.C. is burning

2009-07-05T22:13:00.007-04:00

South Bend, Indiana, wasn't a bad place to be around Independence Day. I could see 4th-quality fireworks from my kitchen window for what seemed like the whole week before and after the 4th. Everyone and their grandma bought armfuls of cakes and Roman candles, and for a couple days the fuzz seemed to turn a blind eye to people shooting stuff off in parking lots.

When the holiday's long gone though, you have to drive outside the city limits and have your fun under cover of cornfields. After the 4th last summer, John and Mike must've spent a couple hundred dollars on fireworks. They were gorgeous, and scary. I spent a lot of time ducking behind the car, plugging my ears, and peering at the sky while the guys lit fuses and ran. A couple times a shell would veer off toward a tree or an irrigation tower. One time I thought for sure Mike's hand was about to get blown off. Every dog and siren we heard freaked us the hell out until we were sure they weren't for us.

This summer I watched the show from the Mall. Instead of me and John and Mike it was me and John and hundreds of thousands of other people. We were sitting behind the Capitol, toeing the edge of a reflecting pool that didn't seem to be reflecting anything. The show started, and the trees were blocking our view. "Do you want to stay here or try to get closer?" John said. We picked up and ran for the Washington Monument. It was a recession-era show, only about 15 minutes. But we were in a pretty photogenic spot by the finale.

There isn't really a point to all this. Just that fireworks are fucking great.

Happy 4th

2009-07-04T17:08:00.006-04:00

Back tomorrow with actual posts. Take it easy.

Depressing statistics showdown

2009-07-03T22:52:00.012-04:00

I didn't realize that the overall crime rates in Chicago and D.C. are so similar.

Northwest Washington's pretty chill, but I hear the eastern part of the city's a little closer in, uh, character, to Chicago's South Side. So I'm trying to keep in mind that there are probably places here akin to 75th and Cottage Grove that I just don't know about yet.

Why the need to temper my D.C. love? Because, if I don't, it makes it pretty hard getting messages like this from school:

"Police are investigating a series of robberies that have occurred in the Hyde Park community. On three occasions between July 1 and July 3, two to three men armed with a hand gun have robbed groups of people in secluded locations. Two of the robberies have occurred in neighborhood parks and one in an alley. In each case there were 2 to 6 victims. The robberies have occurred between the hours of 10:30 p.m. and 12:50 a.m. in the area between 52nd and 55th Street and Woodlawn to Ridgewood Court."

I know summer's high tide for crime, but seriously--six people getting robbed at once?

And okay, D.C. has more than double Chicago's homicide rate. Over here though, it doesn't seem quite as routine to read about a teenager getting "chased, beaten with baseball bats, run over by a car, shot and burned," or a 9-year-old taking a bullet while she's giving her dog a bath. In Chicago, we've come to expect the "kid in front of the gun" story, quickly followed by the "kid behind the gun" story.

Sometimes I dread going back to school, and it's not just because of my stupid social problems. It's because of the city's stupid social problems too.

Friday Obscure Music Video Blogging

2009-07-03T15:47:00.008-04:00

Ezra did foodblogging. Fafnir did pieblogging. Maybe if I designate a day for somethingblogging, they'll teach me their cool-Internet-personality secret handshake. So, henceforth, on Fridays I will share with you an underlooked musical reel.

Let's start with one from a D.C. band. This is Guy playing with Fugazi at a high school gym in Philly.

What you don't see here is the part where he fell off the hoop and into the drum kit.

For once the YouTube peanut gallery is dead on: "Greatest moment of any DVD ever."

Seen any feral ghouls here lately?

2009-07-03T15:01:00.006-04:00

John came into town last night. This morning he was kinda staring at a map of the Metro lines.

After a while he said, "Now I know why this looks so familiar."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Fallout 3."

----

P.S. The connection between Georgetown and "Tepid Sewer" makes me think there are at least a couple of punks at Bethesda Softworks.

Meditations on the Metro creep

2009-07-02T20:22:00.009-04:00

"On the Metro, EYES DOWN EARPHONES IN!" spake Justin in response to my tale of horror and woe.

This is what I'm hearing from all sides, including the Metro itself.

On the ride home I was standing in front of an ad for the new Nintendo DSi. There was a little cartoon character next to the game with a speech bubble that just said "The best way to avoid making eye contact."

Can't say I'm not a little disappointed. I'm all for shooting the breeze with random strangers--that's one of journalism's big draws.

But my desire not to be asked to pole dance in front of a train full of people wins the day. So no more talking to tubby bastards on the Metro.

Blech.

Come back, Congress!

2009-07-02T15:11:00.020-04:00

On Monday, Congress went on recess for "Independence Day District Work Period."

Today, Scott made this graph. The bars represent each week of the internship so far. The y axis measures our productivity.

So. I'm in the market for a wicked accurate paper airplane design. Please send before "Summer District Work Period."

More brief conversations ending in divorce

2009-07-02T07:59:00.009-04:00

Bought Cigarette Girl from the Future last night. Beauty Pill's a lot like Smart Went Crazy, just mellower, jazzier, and, if this descriptor doesn't make you gag, more dream-like.

Chad Clark's bitter streak transferred between bands fully intact. Thank God. Thought I'd share some choice lines with you.

It was supposed to be
moving sidewalks, jet packs, and hovercrafts
Mostly it's the feeling of moving
into a house where the last tenant was a suicide

Smart Went Crazy, if you'll recall, brought us gems like

My eyes are as dull and useless
as Canadian pennies in Mexico
And they don't say 'In God we trust'
They say
'I don't have the time
to make you mix tapes anymore'

*swoon*

Why they need to fix up the Red Line right now

2009-07-02T02:33:00.003-04:00

They've reduced the speed on Red Line trains after the accident, so the cars are stuffed to a nearly Japanese extent. Last week Stephen joked that thought he'd been violated when he came off the train. This week I'm not laughing quite as hard.

I love you, D.C., but personal space-wise, I think it's best we keep a distance appropriate for middle school dances. I'm not so into being face-to-face with your B.O. and your halitosis. Mostly though, I could really do without the following category of interaction--

[Scene: Jam-packed next to the doors with my roommates. I'm stomach-to-stomach with a graying, balding, tubby gentleman. Thought striking up a conversation would make things less awkward. Thought wrong.]

Metro Creep: This is great.
Me: What's great about this?
Creep: It's packed.
Me: That's true, but what's great about that?
Creep: It's fun.
Me: ...I dunno, maybe if it were like a concert. If there was music or something.
Creep: There could be music.
{This, by the way, is where Annie's creep-alert started to flare. Props for early detection.}
Me: Really?
Creep: Yeah, we could start dancing.
Me: Really? We could all dance on a moving train?
Creep: Yeah, sure!
Me: [Does a quick shimmy shake to humor him.]
Creep: Yeah, that's right! And you've got the pole right there, you could dance right there.
Me: Um...I don't think so.
Creep: Yeah, yeah, you could dance on that!
Me: ...No.
Creep: Maybe sometime in the future then.
Me: N-no, no, I don't think so.
Creep: I could dance. I could take all my clothes off, strip naked.
Me: ...No thank you.

Again, Annie and Mimi were with me, and I'm pretty sure we would've gone all Charlie's Angels on his ass if he'd taken it any further/if our stop hadn't come up 10 seconds later. But wow. I was 100% not expecting the conversation to go that way.

Congratulations D.C. Y'all have creeps to contend with Chicago's best.

One year till porking time

2009-07-01T18:49:00.009-04:00

My roommate Annie said something the other day like, "Oh my gosh, the future is going to happen soon."

I'm afraid that when it does, it will be this. Anyone know how Pork Daily Intelligence looks on a resume?

On the other hand, maybe you could con people into thinking you're the more badass kind of pork reporter.

Maroonwatch

2009-07-01T14:34:00.007-04:00

Y'all know I'm bumming around D.C., taking for-freakin'-ever to put a little slideshow together. But what are your other intrepid Maroon reporters up to? Here's what little I know:

Mike's rocking out the feature stories in Brooklyn.

Aly's picking apart the economy over at Bloomberg.

And Jake's busting rhymes back west.

My Google-stalking's pretty rusty, so tell/link me if you do something cool. I'm serious about this. We go from 20-30 hour weeks in the newsroom together to this three-month black hole. So, if you would, humor me with your exploits every once in a while as I keep attempting to humor you with mine.

And done.

2009-07-01T12:46:00.006-04:00

My story on the market finally went up. It would've run yesterday, but I couldn't find the name of the trombonist in one of the pictures. Journalism is kind of exasperating like that sometimes.

If y'all ever want to read my stuff, you can register on the site for free. If not, that's cool too. Just look at this picture cos it's my favorite.

Fun with The Man

2009-07-01T00:12:00.001-04:00

I went to Burger King with Arlinda today. After purchasing her Whopper Jr., she confided in me that she wanted a crown. Surprisingly though, she felt self conscious about asking the cashier for one. I told her I would wear one if she did. This is because I am an incredibly wonderful and sensitive person.

These were not just any BK crowns, mind you. These were limited edition Jonas Brothers crowns bearing the face of each Jonas sibling as well as the dates of the "band"'s world tour and latest album release.

We walked almost a mile home in our royal headgear. We got a couple of stares and snickers, and kind of a yearning look from a three-year-old.

It was pretty unpunk, but I highly recommend it.